eLusiveity

[My Thoughts] Females

Seriously… if anyone were to be able to look through my bipolar moods
recently, and see that retarded smile I get with every text message, then
query my puzzling behaviour, this meme sums up my exact reaction.

I’ve given this reaction to police already tbh

[My Thoughts] Global Competition

This is a facebook status I wrote…

You know what would be pretty intense? A pistachio eating contest.

You would start off with a basic competition; “I can eat more pistachios
than you”. however this one competition will turn technical and the more
you contest, the further refined your abilities become.
You will start off ripping into every single pistachio in the bag until
you’re done, then you’ll begin going for the easy target’s first, leaving
the closed ones till last.

You can then progress your game into a psychological one, eating the harder
pistachios first to ensure your opponent is lulled into a false sense of
imminent victory.

This desire for developed techniques and ensuring your continuing victoria
would then turn into formalized strategies within the original, basic
competitions social rules; you turn your sub-conscious tendency to
categorize pistachios based on difficulty of entry into a written game plan.
This is when we begin the development of different leagues of pistachio
eating; speed leagues, endurance leagues, and of course, the basic
competition we began with will be renamed to “vanilla”, “street” or even
just “original”. Purists would feud with enthusiasts of opposing branches
in who eats pistachios properly, and cross-competition battles would begin.

Of course, by this stage, it’s a multi-national sport, televised on ESPN,
generating $1.2billion in revenue, creating over 100 sustainable jobs
Australia wide, and close to a thousand world-wide.

The potential of this market will be re-tapped, and branched off into other
forms of nut consumption such as peanut, walnuts and eventually,
pornographic spin-offs, generating a further $600million to $1.4billion in
revenue, and generating a further 3000 staffing positions world-wide.

[My Thoughts] Delete lines based on search term - bash

Got a needle in your haystack that you’re itching to remove? I’ve got the
solution.

We’ll use `sed`, which should come with your nix distro. There’s a flag I
want to alert you of; -i
‘-i’ will replace the file you’re searching through with the output of sed.
It’s a simplification of:

# sed ‘s/foo/bar/g’ haystack

This is the file we have;
jacob@jacob-laptop:&;/devprojects$ cat Registration_ko.properties
registration.equipment.PartNumber=부품 번호
registration.activation.tooltip=활성화 날짜는 수리 또는 교체 후
업데이트됩니다. 보증은 최초 활성화 날짜에 근거합니다.
registration.accessory.success=The accessory was added
successfully.registration.equipment.current.tip.PreviousImplantation=이전에
이쪽에 임플란트가 있었습니까?
registration.equipment.current.tip.PreviousImplantation=이전에 이쪽에
임플란트가 있었습니까

If you’re seeing boxes, that’s because there’s some Korean in there.
Anyway, so I want to remove any line that
contains “registration.equipment.current.tip.PreviousImplantation”

My first attempt was:
jacob@jacob-laptop:&;/devprojects$ sed
-i ‘/registration.equipment.current.tip.PreviousImplantation=이전에 이쪽에
임플란트가 있었습니까/d’ Registration_ko.properties

[My Thoughts] Static Frontpage Drupal

The Application
I basically needed my drupal to have a homepage that wasn’t “blog style”

Problems
Other than the obvious blog-style thing, I also had Read More on my page,
which is fucking retarded.

So yes, if you’re reading this, let me say; THIS FIXES THE REAM MORE ISSUE

Solution
Go to your drupal, login as an admin.
Config -> Site Information -> Display one post on the frontpage.
I dont know if this really affects anything, but that’s what mine is set to.

Then you want to set the option under it, called “Default Frontpage”.

Change that to point to your page. Eg/ my homepage was node/2, so that’s
what I’ve set it to.

It’s now made the webpage node2 the homepage.

Yippee

[My Thoughts] Blogger gone Aussie?

So unless you’re one of those fags that doesn’t venture out of Facebook,
you would have noticed that there’s been some really retarded celebrities
who I have never even heard of that think they can sue people for saying
bad things about them.

Apparently crying to peoples parent’s isn’t enough…

But because I have better things to do than sit on my blog, I’m going to
keep this short and sweet.

Google looks like it can no longer give the authorities in australia the
finger, and hide behind the american laws that protect it from being
responsible for providing a medium for “defamation”.

My English is going downhill here because I’m rushing btw.

So because Google lost this front, my blogspot is now hosted on an Aussie
server.
Biggest mistake anyone can make imo.

Anyways, so now you can’t say Britney Spears is a freaking retard, Julia
Gillard isn’t even a real prime minister and kevin rudd is just a plump saw
loser because you can now get sued for it.

And if you want to sue me for ‘defamation’, good fucking luck. I have $20
in my wallet i can pay you in damages. Other than that, you can take your
pick of a huffy slider and a pillow.

[My Thoughts] ZOMGWTFBBQ A BLOG UPDATE!?!

As you all know, I have a very important part of my life missing at the
moment… but as of the 6th of March, I get it back! :)

However, in the meantime, life has been cheap thrills around the
neighbourhood… occasionally sneaking out to places like the drive-ins.
Today I’ve ventured out of my comfort zone and I’ve parked the rolla HARD
at Mac Uni ;)

I need to get a pic of that… I’ll get a pic of that lmao

But on Friday night, I decided to grab myself some subway, because my
grandmother wasn’t home and I felt like some goddamn cookies.

So I was all like BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH omw to
subway… like a baws…
But when I got there… I saw something along the lines of this:

Now, I don’t check my engine all the time. Just most.
But I didn’t need to check my engine because I could hear the sizzling
sound, and sweet smell, of burning coolant.

We knew the hose was on it’s way out… I was just too lazy to change it
(that’ll be the death of my car.. or me.. one day). But once I knew it was
leaking like that, I just had to change it.

It’s now fixed; hence it being driven to work today. But there’s a slight
concern, now.
With all that coolant leaking, I figured it’d be a tops idea to add some
more. Turns out, I needed another five … fucking … litres……..
FIVE LITRES OF COOLANT.

MFW:

Much to peoples dismay, I haven’t actually done anything about this. I’m
going to check my car over lunch, to make sure the coolant hasn’t gone
milky (indication of a crack head gasket), and I need to start checking
it’s not puffing smoke.

Another thing giving me the heebies is the wheel at the back wobbling
around. I’m going to miss having stance, but I just can’t afford some
goddamn new wheels:(

Other than that, I got another new toy;

Damn straight I’m rocking a huffy slider :D
I was going to play with it on Sunday… but I had an interesting night on
Saturday and didn’t exactly feel like running down to SCA to buy spray
paint. Nor did I feel like sanding it back.

I’m hoping to spray it white or something, and take the plastic cover off
the front wheel.
I might spray the wheels to match the colors on the rolla, but we’ll see
how that goes.

The funny part is; my grandmother went all “DMX” on my ass.. This was
roughly her face when she saw it sitting in my home office;

Now word of a lie, i feared for my life.
But she came bearing food so the unhappiness was short lived.

Pimp weekend was pimp.
Fun with the rolla, fun on a huffy slider, went for three runs (doing
roughly twice my normal distance all up) and hit up the drive-ins like a
baws. :D

[My Thoughts] For two…

I keep getting these groupon emails after I signed up for the website and I
don’t mind too much. I’ve gotten some alright sounding deals, hell I might
even buy the pack of 144 four-seasons condoms for $29, but I keep getting
some particular types of condoms groupons that are particularly making me
sigh. (Yes, I acutally typed condom instead of groupon)

Incase you can’t tell from the title, and reference to a showbag full of
condoms to last the average married male an eternity, these groupons are
things that relate to couples.
It’s like there’s some evil, government conspiracy going on because all
I’ve been seeing recently is shit for couples - I even have a dinner for
two sitting on my desk that I need to use soon.

As I write this, most people who know me will probably be thinking “hang
on.. don’t you have a gf? What’s the issue? Stop being a bitch”
But no. I don’t. I’m single and have been for a month or something… so
come at me. Go check my facebo… oh wait.

But seriously though; you see all these coupons come out of groupon and you
think “wow.. maybe it’s a bad idea that I’m single.. maybe I should go out,
find the first girl I see, capture her in a bag and get married in
Kazhistan”. But what I also go to thinking; is everyone doing the same
thing?
I decided to do some investigating.

Qoop.com.au is a friends start-up, and is pretty awesome imo. At the
moment, they have 4 channel helicopters for $49. Definitely not a couples
toy (well we won’t let any females know it could be, at least)

Some guys go fishing, others box (lol “box”). Hell, gay guys and american
presidents fly kites. But real men fly RC helicopters.

On Scoopon - another coupon site, you’ve got golf for you and a mate for
$60, gym membership and pole dancing classes. Pretty bad-ass if you ask me.

Okay, they actually have dinner for two at a pizza restaurant and a hotel
room for two at some random fancy place… but the later can be used to
bang bishes at the clubs, right?

And what does Groupon haev on their front page?
Well actually some pretty comfy looking uggboots. But their past deals show
6 bottles of wine, a hotel room and some new sets of undies… I don’t know
what they’re trying to say here…

[My Thoughts] Is it possible to be content with your Government?

I haven’t posted to this blog in a while as I’ve been attempting vblogging
which has been unfortunately uneventful. I appear to have lost my webcam I
used to talk to, and I didn’t have a mic because my g930’s were off for
repair, so I had to suffice with my eee pad which had poor audio quality.

That’s a bit off topic (already, geez..).

I don’t know who follows me, what your demographics are or anything like
that. I just know you’re reading my thoughts, and today they’re going
towards the Australian Government.

For those who know me, you’ll know I’m an avid car lover. I’ve always owned
something different; I had a pristine DOHC Hyundai Excel which was one of
their final produced with less than 100,000km on the clock, I then had an
R33 GTS25 which had more balls than any other RB25DE I’ve driven and was
fricken loud to boot. It also got a lot of comments in traffic.
I then purchased an R32 GTST which had over 200,000KM and ran 154rwkw. The
engine has since detonated after the new owner took it drifting, but pig
cars gonna pig.
Then I had a white R33 GTS (yeah, n/a again) with a sunroof which I had put
over 6k into. it was a very nice car :)

Now I’m looking to purchase either an AE86 with a silver top (ADM version
of Takumi’s 86, yo), or an RX7 S4 that’s OMG so hot.

ANYWAY

I was recently in a discussion regarding my friends usage of E10 in his
mildly modified Supra, which then turned into a “OMG DID U NO GOVS ARE B&
95WTF”. Which then turned into “omg I hate the Gillard government blah
blah” and tbh, it was all brofacts and Gillard-hate (which is very popular
tbh).
It’s made me think though… how please can someone actually be with their
government? Will people always find a way to hate on them?

I’d love to have a down-to-earth prime minister that got up there and
said “Fuck we have too many immigrants… reckon we should cut down our
intake?”
Or…
“Blimey house prices are bloody high!”

Hell.. i’d settle for

“THE RENTS TOO GODDAMN HIGH”

But seriously… I don’t see why politics have to be so cloak-and-dagger.
Why can’t we have someone jump up there with no tie, top two buttons
casually undone covered a $200 blazer/pants combo and give us ‘fair-dinkum’
promises about how he plans to reform things.

Hell, I don’t mind a female getting up there, as long as she’s highly
likeable, highly presentable and actually wins an election against a highly
reputable candidate.
All respect to Julia Gillard (the little I’ve been allowed to maintain),
but stabbing K’Rudd in the back to assume leadership is the worst thing you
could have done for women in Australia. Ontop of that, you didnt freaking
win the election as PM… you got given it by default.

I like Tony Abbot, but he just hasn’t got the following to bring him into
election. A lot of people don’t like him, so they went with Julia because
no change is safest, right? (yeah right).

Now I don’t mean to be a hater here, but since I’ve started taking note of
what’s happening outside of my bedroom, all I’ve been seeing is pointless
bullshit in politics and quite frankly, I feel we need a refreshing,
Australian POV on things.

ANYWAY!!!!!

Like I was saying; is it really possible for a Government to be generally
loved by it’s people?

What does it take to win the population?

Hmmm some food for thought? I think so.

And just so we’re clear; I’d love to run for PM and see how my laid back
attitude goes. Then again, I’m only 19. What would I know about anything.

[My Thoughts] Confluence Updates

It is really difficult to focus on what seems to be a 56 page document,
outlining all side thoughts of someone performing a Jira update.

Our client currently has Confluence 2.8 or something, and are looking to
update to 4.1. This sucks because they’re usuing almost the entire
atlassian suite, which is also out of date. Because their entire setup is
out of date, we have to rectify this incrementally.

This is going to be a very big, tedious job and I’m finding my attention
span shortening in general anyway. I’m really going to have to hit the gym
soon, get some focus back….

fuck it I’m buying a crossaint